


Waiting

by delamere



Category: Person of Interest (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-08
Updated: 2014-12-11
Packaged: 2018-02-28 16:39:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2739518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/delamere/pseuds/delamere
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She didn’t like the person she was becoming. She didn’t like the way she looked out for signs of Root, didn’t like the way she concerned herself with her wellbeing, didn’t like that it was beginning to affect her sleep. This wasn’t the Shaw that had returned one of Root’s flirtatious quips one night, fully expecting the hacker to be all bark, no bite and found that she was more than happy to bite back. That night had begun it, but that night had meant nothing. That Shaw knew exactly what she wanted, and she wondered exactly at what point it had changed, because this Shaw sat pitifully alone, pining for old Shaw. Or, perhaps, pining for what that Shaw had. Root.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It was a strange coincidence, too strange for Shaw to believe, but Root was adamant that it was purely by chance the two had been in the same bar at the same time.

After a day far more boring than most she had experienced as her new cover, Shaw had left the makeup store in more of a rush than usual. No new numbers meant there was no reason for her to head over to the subway any time soon and, she reasoned with herself, she deserved a drink. Not only had it been a long time since she’d found any time to herself as of late, it was also a long time since she’d been able to sit down with a glass of whiskey. New York had become cold, and fast, and so it was with great haste, usually one reserved for missions, that she entered her apartment complex and entered her simple flat. Slipping out of her work attire, she changed into a standard outfit of hers - black t shirt, black jeans - much comfier and fitting for the dingy bar she intended to drink in. With a quick wash of her face, Shaw pulled over a coat and scarf, heading out of the door she had only 10 minutes before walked through, and headed down the relatively quiet and darkening street until she reached a bar that she had passed numerous times but had not yet travelled within. She only knew of its dinginess from the numerous men she passed that would stumble in and out. It made her smile. It’s exactly what she had wanted. That was until she spotted a familiar brunette sat at a far corner of the bar, absorbed in her laptop.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” She muttered. It was time to make a quick decision. Leave, pretend she hadn’t even seen Root and find another bar or join her. She groaned at her decision. 

Purposefully heading towards the end of the bar Root was situated at, Shaw sat a few seats down and leaned across the bar. “A double whiskey.”

The sound of a familiar voice prompted Root to look up and glance to her left. A pleasant yet confused smile crept onto her lips. “Sameen.”

About to pay for the drink that was placed in front of her, Shaw was interrupted by Root. “You can put that on my tab,” She smiled swivelling slightly in her chair to face Shaw better, closing her laptop as she did so. “What a pleasant surprise. It’s been a while.”

And it truly had. A healthy mix of Root’s ever-changing identities and Shaw’s attempts to avoid the taller women meant the two had barely crossed paths over the past few weeks. Shaw however ignored this part, merely responding, “Is it a surprise?”

Root quirked an eyebrow, “Did you fail to note that I was here first?”

Shaw narrowed her eyes at the taller woman as she sipped at her drink. True as that might be, she still didn’t believe her despite the fact there was no possible way that Root could have guessed Shaw would be in this particular bar at this particular time, especially considering how spontaneous the decision to do so had been.

Root rolled her eyes. “What, you think I followed you and somehow managed to get in before you did?”

“Wouldn’t put it past you,” Shaw muttered, earning a laugh from Root. “What are you doing here anyway?”

Twisting her body so she now sat facing Shaw full on, Root crossed her legs over, reminding Shaw of the day she had visited her in the department store, the ice coffee now replaced by a glass of red wine. Root raised the glass slightly with a smirk, “Same reason as you it seems.”

“I don’t tend to bring a computer with me to a bar,” She returned, nodding towards the laptop at the bar. 

Root merely shrugged and sipped at her drink. “Just checking a few things,” She placed the glass back down, “Plus, I like working here.”

Shaw glanced around the bar which indeed had been as disgusting as she’d expected and even hoped. It was poorly lit and the only clientele appeared to be men ranging from around 40 to 70 and the odd woman sat with them. It was the sort of place she found comfort in, it was not the sort of place she would expect Root to. “Wouldn’t have thought this would be your sort of place.”

“Why not?” She asked, glancing around herself. “What would you have thought?”

Shaw took another gulp of her drink and shrugged, “A library?”

It caused Root to scrunch her noise and avert her eyes briefly. “I don’t like libraries,” She responded as she swivelled her chair to face the bar once again. Downing the last of her drink, she looked over to the bartender, “Another glass of the red and a double whiskey, please.”

Shaw narrowed her eyes at the response but chose not to comment. With their new drinks placed in front of them, Root turned to Shaw her smile returning. “Shall we get a booth?” Root didn’t wait for her answer and stood from the seat, picking her laptop up before slipping it into it’s case and sauntering towards an unoccupied booth. It was with great betrayal to her usual demeanour that Shaw followed Root’s curved body as it made it’s way across the floor. Although she was wearing similarly blackened clothing, it was easy to see her tall form, even in the dim bar. She suddenly averted her eyes as she realised what she was doing. Throwing back the rest of her first drink, she headed over with the other in hand. 

“So what brings you here, Sameen?” Root asked as Shaw sat down opposite her. 

“I needed a drink,” She replied flatly, earning a smile from Root. It made her roll her eyes. It was something in the way that Root would smile at Shaw even when she was being rude that flared up some form of anger? Frustration? She wasn’t sure what it was and she wasn’t sure why it got to her.

“I gathered that much,” Root responded, “So, any reason for this particular bar? Why’s this is _your_ sort of place and not mine?” She asked, smirking as she leant forward over the table ever so slightly.

Something about this conversation was making Shaw uneasy. Perhaps it was the way they sunk so easily back into their former roles. “It’s close by,” She answered as flatly as she had done before, yet this time with a little anger behind it. 

“I know it is,” Root responded but it wasn’t quite as flirtatious as she had attempted.

It earned her the second eye roll of the night. “I’m going to a different bar,” Shaw seethed, standing up with full intentions of leaving behind her full drink as well as the hacker. However, her arm was grabbed as she was about to slide out of the booth. She turned and followed the hand to Root’s face which looked a mixture of confusion and something else that Shaw couldn’t quite place. Hurt?

“Don’t,” Was the simple response but somehow it caused her to take her seat once again. “At least finish your drink,” Root continued, removing her hand once she was sure Shaw wasn’t leaving.

“Fine.”

It earned her a smile and, despite herself, she returned it briefly.

“I didn’t know you were much of a drinker,” Shaw suddenly said after a few moments of silence.

“You can’t really be in our line of work and not be,” She laughed in response. 

Shaw nodded.

“I used to drink a lot more than I do now,” Root continued with a sad smile, “Now I tend to save it for when I really need it.”

“Why did you need it tonight?” Shaw asked before she could stop herself.

Root was a little taken aback by the question, having become accustomed to Shaw’s flippant attitude and ability to avoid most conversations. She wondered if it was due to the whiskey or perhaps genuine wonder (though she highly doubted that one). “Just a long day,” She responded.

The answer wasn’t quite what Shaw has wanted but she didn’t expect she would get much more out of her. 

“I don’t want to spoil our date,” Root began, smirking at the scowl the term earned her from across the table, “But could I possibly ask a question?”

“This isn’t a date,” Shaw snapped. Root raised her eyebrows, awaiting the go ahead. “Yes, ask your damn question,” She sighed.

“Why have you been avoiding me?”

It caused Shaw to swallow deeply, something she hoped the woman opposite hadn’t noticed, though she was sure she had. She knew Root wasn’t stupid, but she had half expected her avoidances to go unnoticed or, at the very least, be of little concern to Root considering how busy she constantly was. Yet here she was, asking her outright. And Shaw wasn’t sure how to answer. She knew why, and she was sure Root did to. Whatever relationship that had formed between the two woman often left both utterly confused as to where they stood. To begin with, there was a common ground, a mutual understanding that whatever it was that would often lead to Root to Shaw’s apartment late at night was purely out ease. Who better to release pent up anger on and what better way than a quick, rough fuck in the dark before leaving once again? Slowly, however, the common cause seemed to sway slightly. It wasn’t just Root at fault of this either, much to Shaw’s annoyance. The excuses became far less believable. Decoding an email from Harold? She’d done it hundreds of times. Teach her how to hack a computer? She hadn’t even listened to Root as she attempted to teach her. Whatever was going on had changed and Shaw could no longer handle the swelling feeling that had begun to develop in her chest. She was finding it hard to justify the emptiness that followed whenever Root would leave her bed in the dead of night or the comfort that came on the occasions when they fell asleep beside each other. So she stopped it altogether. When she had first ignored one of the incoming calls that usually meant Root was on her way, she half expected the brunette to turn up anyway. She hadn’t. The feeling of disappointment that followed had been the deciding moment that she would stop it once and for all.

“I haven’t,” She lied. “I’ve been busy.”

Root gave a small laugh before sipping her drink. “Okay,” She merely replied. 

It made Shaw a little angry, the fact that Root didn’t even attempt to fight back. She just let it drop. Shaw watched as Root stared down at the table before lifting her head, a small smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes gracing her face. “I think it’s time for another drink.” 

Root excused herself, leaving Shaw to once again watch after her. She cursed herself, feeling a small flush creeping at her cheeks, gulping down an unnecessarily large portion of her drink. She had noticed how Root spoke to the bartender, wondering just how often the brunette had found herself here considering the two seemed to be chatting quite freely. When she noticed Root’s body returning she averted her eyes, finding new interest in the food menu in front of her.

Once Root had taken her place once again, Shaw looked up. “Do you come here a lot?”

“Why do you ask?” Root pondered.

She shrugged as casually as she could, “Just wondering.”

“Quite a bit.”

“Why here?” Shaw asked, her interest sparked. It was hardly like it was tourist attraction. 

Root smiled, “I found it one night after leaving yours,” She had suspected the answer would make Shaw flinch, “And came after most times.”

“Oh,” Was all Shaw managed before awkwardly looking down at the table.

It earned a shrug from Root who placed her now empty glass on the edge of the table before picking up the new drink. “It was close by and it’s not like I had anywhere else to go.”

Something in that made Shaw’s hand clench. It was a sad thought, Root leaving in the early morning and, rather than retreating to her own bed, finding shelter in a seedy bar only a few metres from her apartment. She winced ever so slightly at the image, something akin to guilt creeping upon her. Occasionally Shaw had wondered where it was that Root went after leaving but usually her mind would settle on the idea that the other woman never really slept and was probably heading to another number, another identity. In this moment, that thought seemed ridiculous. It made her feel guilty. Shaw hadn’t pictured Root as a person. When they were working on a number, guns in hand, it was easy for her to see a certain type of person, a professional robot of sorts. It was even easy when her hands were running across her naked body for her to recognise Root as someone, as a person she knew all too well but still only one serving a purpose. It was a Root sat at a bar, alone, that she hadn’t envisioned and, now that the thought was placed within her mind, it was too hard for Shaw to shake it off.

“But,” Root began, pulling her from her thoughts, “Now I just come for the fun of it.” The standard Root smirk appeared.

A hum of acknowledgement came from Shaw. She sipped at her drink, feeling it’s affects a little more now. It slipped down her throat, washing with it any attempts at an apology that so nearly escaped. She wasn’t quite that drunk yet.

Sensing the conversation was about to lock Shaw in one of her solitudes of silence that Root was all too familiar with, she quickly changed the topic. “Had any more numbers lately?”

“No,” Shaw answered bitterly, “All I’ve done is sell mascara for the past two weeks. It’s a joke,” She grumbled the end, glancing up at Root who was watching her tentatively as if worried the anger was directed at her. She sighed, “I’m just bored and frustrated.”

The playful and shameless innuendo that should have slipped from Root’s mouth never came. Shaw found herself concerned with this, nearly ready to ask her what was wrong but she didn’t and resorted to asking Root her own question back. 

Root was similarly frustrated with her most recent identity but it fell on deaf ears as Shaw watched the hacker’s lips. She blamed it on the alcohol but realised how dull an excuse that was considering the desire to kiss Root had come numerous times before even when she was stone cold sober.

“I don’t even like dogs that much.”

“Huh?”

“What?”

“Dogs?”

“Yes, dogs.”

“What about them?”

Root narrowed her eyes, “You weren’t listening to me. That’s just rude, Sameen,” She said, rolling her eyes and taking a sip of her drink.

“Sorry,” She grumbled.

It caused Root to raise her eyebrows, “We’re making progress.” Shaw looked confused before Root elaborated, “An apology, it’s been a long time since I’ve heard one of those.”

It was Shaw’s turn to roll her eyes.

“I was saying,” Root said, making sure to add a playful seriousness to the words, “My current identity is at a dog shelter.”

“Why?”

“I haven’t worked it out yet.” Shaw noticed how a frustration flashed over Root’s face before an exasperated sigh escaped, “I swear I smell of wet dog. Every time I bathe them, I get more wet than they do.”

The thought made Shaw laugh. “Maybe you can give Bear a bath sometime then.”

Root shook her head, “No. Once I’m out of this identity, it’s the last dog I’ll ever touch.”

“Poor Bear.” 

A silence fell upon them but Shaw felt more comfortable than she had done in a long time. Whatever had unsettled her earlier seemed to have disappeared. Maybe she was a little drunker than she had intended but it gave her the push she required, blurting out another brisk apology.

“What?”

“I said I’m sorry,” She repeated angrily.

“I heard that, but why?”

“Everything,” She sighed, avoiding her stare.

Root suspected that was the most she would get out of it. Despite the hint of anger behind the reparation, it meant a lot to Root. Although she was still hurt by many of Shaw’s actions, it was more than she ever expected to receive. She had been almost sure that whatever form of apology she would get from Shaw would be something in an action, perhaps shooting someone in the kneecap for her. The actual words, however, made to ease the pain that had settled within Root weeks ago. Although it hadn’t quite hurt as much as the first time, the emptiness and aching that came when someone she cared for disappeared so suddenly from her life was something she still hadn’t managed to build a resilience towards. It was one of the few things that the Machine had managed to reteach her - to care for people - she wished she hadn’t listened to. It had only made it harder when she realised Shaw had done what Hanna had done years ago, but this time by choice. “Thank you,” Was all she managed as she attempted to drink the darkened thoughts from her mind.

Something in the way she said it brought Shaw’s gaze back to her face but Root was looking elsewhere. It was genuine and it was soft. But it wasn’t right. It made her feel worse than she already did. She was sure this wasn’t how an apology was meant to work, wasn’t she meant to feel better? No, she realised, because that wasn’t how it worked when she had a lot more to make up for than she probably had even realised. She glanced down at the table, ashamed at herself for that.

“I’m sorry for avoiding you,” She began, causing Root’s eyes to snap back to hers. “I’m sorry that I just dropped you like that. I shouldn’t have done that.”

“Why did you then?” Root asked quietly but challengingly.

Shaw felt a flare of anger rise once again but knew it was unjustified. With one final gulp of her drink, she slammed it to the table. “Because I didn’t like where it was heading.”

Root narrowed her eyes, the next question ready to tumble from her mouth. But it didn’t. It made what ever pain that had just before calmed once again settle in her stomach. She knew no amount of questions would deter Shaw from the decision she had made, it would only serve to hurt her more. With that, she too finished her drink. “I guess it’s time for me to go.”

It made Shaw think back to Root - Root the human being. Root, who she had thought she could simply drop and abandon as if she hadn’t, too, began to feel the shift in their relationship that meant it was more than either had ever intended. Root, who she had shared more intimate moments with than anyone before yet knew so little about. Root, who she suddenly, despite herself, wanted to stay.

“Wait.”

Root had been half way out the booth when Shaw’s harsh and defiant command came. She complied wordlessly, taking her seat once again.

“Just, wait,” Shaw seethed through gritted teeth. 

“For what?” Root asked tiredly. She wasn’t sure she could wait any longer.

“I’m sorry.”

“You’ve said that.”

“I know. But I’m not sure there’s anything else I can say,” She said truthfully. 

They both knew what that meant. It meant she wasn’t taking back what she had done. It meant _sorry, but I’m glad I did it_. 

Root’s eyes closed for a brief second as if taking a moment to compose herself. When they opened, she smiled. “It really is time I go,” She said, rising once again. This time she made it out of the booth, withdrawing a few notes from her jacket pocket before placing them on the table. “Apparently dogs like early morning walks.” She stood over Shaw a few seconds longer, perhaps hoping she would once again stop her. “Bye Shaw,” She finally said when it was apparent it would not come. She left swiftly, laptop in hand.

It returned once again, the feeling of emptiness that would settle uncomfortably within her when Root would leave, accompanied this time by a worry that ached her bones at the thought of it being the last time she would see the hacker. It had been a long time since Shaw had felt regret and the feeling turned her stomach.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Multi-chapter is a go!

She couldn’t say she was surprised but she was certainly burdened when Root was not seen or heard from for a week. She wasn’t sure what it was down to, whether it was from purposeful avoidance, much like Shaw had done to Root in the previous weeks, or whether it was due to a variety of genuine reasons - new identity, new numbers, new missions. While she was used to it, Root’s disappearances, this time around she was finding it difficult deterring her mind from the concerns that would occasionally creep into her thoughts. 

Shaw sat down on her couch, sighing. Yet again, her thoughts slipped to horrible visions of Root, motionless and alone somewhere far, far away. Somewhere she could not get to. It was a ridiculous thought, she reasoned, Root was careless but not enough to get her killed. She was a genius, after all. She put the darkened thoughts down to her tiredness from restless sleeps which, in turn, she put down to the lack of numbers. She daren't think that all had a shared cause. 

The beer she was drinking was leaving a sour taste in her mouth but she continued nonetheless. Her eyes were upon her television but she wasn’t registering anything, finding it harder to focus than usual. She considered retreating to her bed early but could not bring herself to do it. She wished to put off another night lying in the dark, her eyes following the lights that would flicker through the cracks in her blinds when a car would pass. Her eyes slowly trailed away from the TV, falling upon the small phone that lay on the table. The thought crossed her mind briefly. It would only be a quick check up, just to make sure she had not gotten herself killed, purely for the sake of the mission. No, Shaw scolded herself, don’t be stupid. Not only was it unnecessary (of course Root was alive), it was pathetic (she did not need to protect Root). 

It was on her 5th beer that she reached for the phone, hesitating as she flipped it open before allowing her fingers to quickly search through the phone, as if the faster she did it, the less likely she would regret it. She instantly did, despite this, until an unfamiliar tone sounded from the phone. Her eyebrows furrowed, attempting to dial again but the same tone replaced the dial rings. It was then that she realised the number was disconnected. 

It was on the 7th beer that she allowed herself to really think about what this could mean.

It was on the 10th that she fell asleep, still upon her couch, various thoughts crowding her mind, forcing itself to turn off for the sake of its own sanity. 

—————

It had been 11 days since their encounter at the bar and 3 since the obnoxious beeping of the disconnected line.

“Do you think Root could be dead?” 

The question penetrated the silence in the subway, sending a shiver down Harold’s spine. 

“Why do you ask, Ms. Shaw?” He asked, perplexed by the sudden outburst.

Shaw shrugged from the other end of the subway where she was sat, throwing a ball every now and then for Bear to fetch. “Do you?” She asked again, watching as Bear carried the ball back to her before looking to Harold.

There was something in her stare that made Harold flinch. It was a cold stare, and if it weren’t for the the fact he had an ability to read Shaw, he might have mistaken it for indifference. “I am sure Ms. Groves is well and alive,” He began carefully, “She has the Machine looking out for her.”

Shaw’s eyes narrowed, displeased by the answer.

“Is there a reason for your concern?” Harold asked, unsure if it was a wise idea to prod further but curiosity got the better of him. 

“No,” She replied, once again redirecting her attention to Bear, attempting to cease the conversation and its topic. 

“Ms. Shaw, while I don’t know where your worry stems from -”

“I’m not wor -”

“I believe Ms. Groves is an intelligent enough woman to manage on her own but, if anything had happened, I am sure there would be no delay on the Machine’s part in relaying this information. I’m not sure that is the answer you were searching for, but it is the best I have to offer.”

It wasn’t what she was searching for, but it certainly helped. She had reasoned with herself time and time again that, of course the Machine would alert them if it were true, She would have to. Hearing confirmation of this allowed for some clarity. 

Content in this, she threw the ball once more, listening as it’s bounces echoed through the subways empty tunnels, before rising. “I’m going for a drink,” She said, patting Bear as he dropped the ball at her feet, “Care to join, Harold?”

He shook his head, relieved that his answer hadn’t warranted an outburst of anger. “Good night, Ms. Shaw, and try not to worry too much.”

—————

She hadn’t returned to the bar since last being there. It was something about it’s dirty exterior that now made Shaw feel a little nauseous as she walked past it on her walks home, radically differing from her initial attraction to it. However, she longed for a drink and there was still something drawing her to the place.

Pushing the door open, she couldn’t stop herself scanning the bar as she entered, looking for a familiar face. There wasn’t one. She didn't dwell on it, striding over to the bar and taking a seat.

“Double whiskey.”

The bartender, the same from her last visit, nodded and poured it, handing it over wordlessly. As he began to walk away, Shaw suddenly reached out and grabbed at the jacket he was wearing.

“The woman I was in here with the other week, has she been here since?”

He turned back and seemed to be thinking. “Tall brunette?”

She nodded.

“I don’t think so,” He replied, “I definitely haven’t seen her. Want me to pass on a message if I do?”

She shook her head and thanked him. A small part of her had expected and hoped for him to say yes, to say that she had been in nearly every night. Leaving the bar, she made her way over to a booth, different to the one they had sat at, avoiding the ugly cliche she feared she was becoming. The drink slipped down her throat nicely, burning enough to momentarily distract her.

She occasionally ran through the event of that night days ago. She knew it had been the right thing to do, knew it was inevitable. She had merely sped up the process, allowing for them to get on with their lives as they had done before, abandoning the mess they had created. Because that’s what it had been. A mess. Though, right now, she felt far more confused than she had expected to be and wondered if, in fact, she had only created a worse mess, one that she was now forced to settle with. 

She didn’t like the person she was becoming. She didn’t like the way she looked out for signs of Root, didn’t like the way she concerned herself with her wellbeing, didn’t like that it was beginning to affect her sleep. This wasn’t the Shaw that had returned one of Root’s flirtatious quips one night, fully expecting the hacker to be all bark, no bite and found that she was more than happy to bite back. That night had begun it, but that night had meant nothing. That Shaw knew exactly what she wanted, and she wondered exactly at what point it had changed, because this Shaw sat pitifully alone, pining for old Shaw. Or, perhaps, pining for what that Shaw had. Root. 

She threw her drink back, no that was not what she longed for.

She only managed another drink before she could no longer bare sitting in the booth. The walk back to her apartment was a short but cold one. She cursed the New York weather.

—————

It came 7 days later, just as she thought she might be able to clear the mess, an interruption in her earpiece as she stalked through a carpark, following her number closely.

“Duck.”

Momentarily confused and surprised by Root’s voice, she only had time to duck at the last possible second. Ahead of her, her number ran, the gun he had used thrown to the floor. The bullet, intended surely for her, imbedded within the wall just behind her.

“Thanks,” She managed as she chased him. 

That was all she got from the earpiece, but it was enough. 

Whatever progress she’d made in forgetting Root (and it was laughably little) was gone and yet, it was relief more than anger she felt that night as she fell asleep. 

—————

 

It was a weekend and she had little to distract her. Usually this would be when she would begin a day of either watching football games or drinking but neither appealed. She settled on heading over to the subway, hoping that Harold would be there to give her something, _anything_ , to do or, hoping at the very least that Bear would require a walk. 

As she entered, she noticed the usual quietness of the tunnels were disturbed by hushed whispers. She made her way down the steps, slowly and quietly, but, despite her efforts, the conversation ended and a pair of eyes fell upon her as she entered. 

“Hello, Shaw.”

It caused Harold to turn in his chair to acknowledge the other woman. 

“Remember what I said, Harold,” Root continued from whatever they had been discussing. She looked tired, Shaw noted, but alive nonetheless. It caused her to wonder where it was the hacker had been sleeping these past few weeks. “Nice seeing you again, Shaw,” She heard from beside her, alerting her to Root’s swift exit. She didn’t wait to follow.

“Root,” She called after but the taller woman only offered a small glance over her shoulder as she continued down the road. “Hey, hold up,” Shaw said, catching up to walk beside her, “What were you and Finch talking about?”

“Oh nothing important,” Root replied, glancing around, “Just some new information has arisen, nothing for you to concern yourself with.”

It sounded far too condescending for Shaw to ignore. “What’s that supposed to mean?” She growled.

Root gave a hearty laugh, “Don’t get angry, Sameen. I just mean it’s of no real concern to anyone right now, not until I’ve looked into it more.” She turned to Shaw, a sickeningly sweet smile gracing her lips, “Once I know more, you’ll be the first to know.”

If she was only saying it to calm Shaw down, it worked, because the topic was dropped as they continued walking side by side. 

“Where are you heading?”

“Nowhere in particular.”

Shaw nodded slowly, glancing briefly to Root’s face, noticing that the smile had dropped. There was nothing to read on her face, only the dark circles under her eyes to allude to any emotions. Save for that, Root’s face strained, cold and clenched, her eyes purposefully kept forward. 

Suddenly, she halted. It startled Shaw for a brief moment, worried it was due to a threat. 

“Why are you following me, Shaw?”

She hoped to god that the heat she felt burn her cheeks was not visible to Root. “I just wanted to see if you were alright,” She snapped.

Root’s eyes narrowed before relaxing, a smirk appearing once again. “As you can see, I’m perfectly fine. I’m sure you have better things to do than follow me around.”

“Not really,” Shaw responded, shrugging.

“You can’t do that, you know,” Root began, the smirk now replaced by a frown, “It’s unfair.”

“Do what?”

“Have me when it suits you best. I heard you loud a clear, there’s nothing between us beyond benefits. I get it. But please don’t expect me to pretend…” She started with a stern look, but a flinch cracked her exterior for a brief second. “I’m not asking you to change your mind, I know you wont,” She sighed, “I am asking you to give me space.”

It was a realisation that had plagued her mind since Shaw had reiterated that there was nothing more between them. Root was merely an asset to Shaw that served to be of use in multiple fields and she had thought she could deal with that but, as she had told Harold long ago, she wasn’t a sociopath. She had fooled herself into believing there was something in this and it had hurt her to discover there never had been.

“Fine,” Shaw finally replied bitterly after a moment of confusion. She turned on her heel, walking briskly from the other woman, refusing to spare her another look. Shaw cursed herself for ever allowing these feelings to develop, cursing in particular her emotions for betraying her - leading her to believe she was safe from feelings of hurt, of sadness, of loneliness - only to have them crash down upon her all at once. And all for one person. 

The anger that swelled inside her coursed through her veins and suddenly she wanted nothing more than to punch someone, perhaps Root. No, her realised, she wasn’t angry at Root. She was angry at herself. She had ended whatever was happening for good reason. She could not care for Root the way the other woman desired, and she knew she had desired it because she saw it in her gentle eyes and careful touches, and that had terrified Shaw. She just had to keep telling herself, over and over. It was for the best. It was going to happen anyway. The thought circled round and round her brain until she finally relaxed, back at the steps of her apartment. 

Suddenly, she felt tired for the first time in a long time. Entering her bedroom, she lay down, rubbing her face with her hands as a yawn escaped her. She was exhausted. All the hours of sleeps she had missed out in the past weeks seemed to catch up with her all at once and she happily let it take a hold of her.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm uploading this quite quickly in order to have something up since I'm busy today, please let me know of any errors!

She grumbled, kicking the blanket from off of her. She was bored and restless within the confines of her apartment. She had already consumed the beers that she had in but it hadn’t been enough to dissolve the restlessness she felt. 

Without a moments thought, Shaw stood up and pulled on her coat, stalking out of her apartment and making her way down a familiar road. There, she saw the lights that flashed of the bar. It had become almost a ritual of hers. Drink, drunkenly think of Root, go to the bar, get drunker.

Walking in, she headed straight for the bar without a moments thought. The double whiskey was placed in front of her with a knowing smile from the bartender. He turned to return to cleaning glasses before stopping and looking back to Shaw.

“Oh hey, that brunette you were looking for? She’s here,” He said, pleased with himself for remembering the question Shaw had asked him many weeks before.

She froze and refused to glance around. “Where?” She had nearly always checked over the bar, sometimes hoping Root was there, other times praying she was not. It was always the latter. 

“Over there.” He nodded towards a booth in the far corner where a pretty woman sat alone with a drink. Although fitting her description to a degree, she was much, much younger than Root. Shaw even wondered if she was of legal age.

“That’s not her,” She sighed.

“No,” He began, “But that’s the person she’s here with.”

She felt her muscles tense and her jaw clench unwillingly at this. Suddenly it seemed far colder in the bar than the streets. The bartender noticed this and mumbled an apology, pouring her another drink.

Shaw downed the first before picking up the second, heading from the bar to a booth situated far from Root’s but still in view. She wondered if the Machine would relay this information to her almost immediately, if in fact Root was already fully aware of her presence. She didn’t care, she’d come to get drunk and she intended on doing just that.

It was a few moments later that Root walking across from the bathroom to the booth. A smile that made Shaw’s hands ball into fists graced her face. Root had sat opposite the other woman and, although Shaw couldn’t hear them, she could see the way Root leant forward, the way she laughed, the way her hand crept over the table so openly.

She scoffed, she wondered if Root knew how ridiculous she looked. She shook her head, rolling her eyes as she took another gulp of her drink. She knew she was drunk because of the way she slammed the glass down, spilling much of its contents onto her jacket and shirt, causing eyes to turn on her. She looked up, her eyes wide at this, noticing curious glances. Slowly, she turned and saw Root’s eyes on her. That was enough to make her blood boil, but the smirk that graced her lips was far worse. She stood from the bar and nearly punched the bathroom door open, grabbing at paper towels as she attempted to dry herself. The door to the bathroom opened again. She didn’t need a computer in her ear to guess who it was.

“Fuck off.”

It earned her a laugh. 

Shaw looked into the mirror and glared at Root through it, her smug aura infecting her. She spun around and closed the gap between them, roughly slamming Root’s body against the wall.

“What are you laughing at?” She snapped.

The smell of whiskey on Shaw’s breath made Root scrunch her nose as she lightly pushed Shaw away from her. The smaller woman did not put up much resistance to this and Root suspected it was due to the alcohol.

“How much have you had to drink?” She questioned, looking Shaw up and down.

She rolled her eyes and returned to the sink, picking up another heap of paper towels and fumbling with them. She could see from the corner of her eyes in the mirror as Root made way over to join her. She took the paper towels from Shaw’s hands and began wiping for her. Shaw watched her, her mind hazy. 

“I thought you were dead you know.”

Root glanced up before looking back to the shirt. “When?”

“A couple weeks ago. I tried calling you.”

“You tried calling me?” Root repeated, looking up with confusion. 

Shaw didn’t respond and merely stared at Root.

“I didn’t know.”

Shaw shrugged and continued staring at Root as she stood up straight. Shaw didn’t hesitate in kissing the other woman, using the collars of her jacket to pull her further into the hungry and desperate kiss. Root responded briefly, mostly out of familiarity, before breaking from her.

It confused Shaw, angering her even. “I thought this is what you wanted?” 

“I said I wanted space.”

“I know you want this more,” Shaw challenged defiantly.

“And I know you don’t,” She responded firmly. 

It made Shaw flinch. How could Root know what she did and did not want when even she wasn’t sure? Something in Root’s gaze flared up her anger again. Was it with pity that Root now looked upon her? Is that what Root thought of her? That she was a pitiful creature, still pining over her while she went about her life, even fucking other people? 

She scoffed, “I get it.”

“Get what?”

“I just didn’t think you were into college students,” Shaw spat back, causing Root to cringe. 

Shaw didn’t wait for a reply.

—————

It had been a week since the drunken confrontation with Root and still, the embarrassment remained fresh each time she thought back to it. She rarely allowed herself to get that drunk and she was reminded why that was. Shaw could handle herself in a lot of situations but one whiskey too many and she found herself to be shameful company. 

Although the two had crossed paths more than either intended, the words that had been exchanged were brief. Harold and John chose never to comment. They had earned a scolding many months ago when they had initially asked Shaw on the nature of their relationship and this time they knew better than to pry. So long as both women were able to remain professional on missions, neither had any reason to. 

“We’ve got a problem,” Root had started, walking down the steps of the subway. She wasted no time in making her way over to the computer that Finch was situated at, taking the keyboard from under him. “We need to get in here,” She continued, pointing at the picture she had brought up on the screen. It was confined, large complex, holding numerous warehouses.

“And why can’t we?” Finch asked, scanning over the image. 

“Well, we can, but She can’t. There’s a signal jammer,” She sighed.

“So what can we do?” Reese asked, joining them at the desk, leaving Shaw to stand with her arms folded in the corner.

“I need someone to be my eyes and ears.”

“Won’t those signals be jammed too?”

“She seems to think not,” Root began, now pulling up her laptop. Finch watched admirably as Root typed code after code before they disappeared, revealing several different camera views of the complex. This caused Shaw to wander over, intrigued. Root continued, “She gave me these.” She held out a pair of headset and two earpieces, though one was smaller than the other. She pulled aside her hair and removed something from her implant, replacing it with the smaller earpiece. “Apparently this signal won’t get jammed.” She looked to Shaw and Finch, “I need you two in a warehouse situated a little further out, giving me and Reese orders.”

It caused Shaw to furrow her eyebrows, “Why the hell do I have to sit at the damn computer?”

Root sighed, knowing the arrangement would anger Shaw. “It’s what She wants.” Although it truly was the Machine’s instructions, Root had been thankful. She had found the coldness that Shaw now treated her with unbearable.

“Sure it is,” Shaw scoffed.

“There’s no time for this, okay?” She handed over the other earpieces and closed her laptop, placing it back within her satchel. “I’ve sent the address to your phone. Me and Reese will head over in a separate car and meet you there to go over the plan.”

She motioned for John to follow before leaving, avoiding Shaw’s glares as much as possible.

—————

Finch and Shaw arrived moments after Root and Reese. Shaw walked slowly behind Finch as they made their way to the top floor where, in a far corner, Root had been setting up a station. Upon the tables were her laptop and hooked to it were several other screens as well as tablets that appeared to display blueprints.

“Is this what you were talking about, Ms. Groves?” Finch asked, looking over the blueprints. “Is this where Samaritan are training their operatives?”

“Indeed it is, Harold.”

It caused Shaw and Reese to look more closely at the screens, realising the people they were watching were indeed Samaritan’s workers. 

Shaw thought back to the conversation she had walked in on many weeks ago and suspected this had been the new information. “Why didn’t you let us in on this sooner?”

Root glanced to her, “I told you, Sameen, it was of no importance until I had it all figured out.”

Shaw flinched at the use of her name, an odd mixture of anger and pleasure. It had been a long time since she had heard it. She shook her mind of the thought and returned to watching the screens. 

“I think there’s more to it than a training ground,” Root explained. “We’ll wait till it’s a little darker then go in. No need for any combat, just a look around.”

“Won’t they see us on their security cameras?” Reese asked, looking to Finch for the answer rather than Root.

“Yes, because that’s something I would miss out,” Root replied, rolling her eyes. It made Shaw smirk briefly. “I managed to hack into the security server, albeit with difficulty. Their monitors should be looping. Have a little faith in me, John,” She smiled sweetly. The smiled dropped as she turned back to the other two sat at the desks. “The two of you will be watching the monitors, one guiding Reese, one guiding me.” She handed over the headsets, Finch and Shaw each taking one.

“Who’s got who?” Shaw asked, as she placed it over her head.

Root pressed a hand to her ear and smirked, “Apparently I’ve got you.”

Shaw wanted to demand a swap but decided against it. She had embarrassed herself enough times in front of the brunette, she didn’t want to add a childish tantrum to the list. Instead, she groaned and listened as Root explained fully the plan - infiltrate, figure out how they recruiting, destroy what they thought necessary. It made it difficult that the Machine would not be able to tell them exactly what they were looking for, she pointed out, but hoped it would be obvious.

“Reese will appear at monitor 3 first, okay Harold?”

He nodded.

“And I,” She began, turning to Shaw, “Will be on monitor 6.”

She nodded and watched as Root left, biting back the words of luck she had intended to speak.

—————

“Can you hear me?”

Root nodded, presuming she had come into view of the cameras. Unsure of whether Shaw was able to make out the gesture on the pixels she also gave an affirmative yes.

“Are you sure the cameras are looping?” Shaw asked, worried that Root had gotten it wrong, that Samaritan were able to see Root as clearly as she could.

“Well I’m not dead yet,” Root replied, “That’s a good sign.”

It was hardly the most reassuring answer but Shaw accepted it. “Okay. Well, climb the fence, it’s clear at your end. Where is it exactly I’m meant to be leading you?”

“I don’t know,” Root’s breathy response came as she climbed, “Just guide me through places that are clear and I’ll let you know when I see something.”

She nodded and briefly glanced at Finch’s monitors and listened as he fed Reese detailed directions. Suddenly, she was worried. She wasn’t exactly the most strategic person.

“Shaw? Are you there?”

“Sorry, sorry,” Shaw’s hasty reply came, averting her eyes back to her own monitors, “I was just checking the screens. Ahead of you is clear for about 200 feet, then you’ll be at a corner. There’s two security guards there. Wait and I’ll give you the go ahead.”

Root did as she was directed, waiting at the corner. She peeked around the corner before withdrawing back quickly, awaiting for Shaw’s next command. 

“Go.”

She quickly ran from her corner to the next, successfully avoiding the two men.

Shaw relaxed a little, content that she was able to do the job. It was simple enough, she reasoned. “Keep going, it’s clear except for someone at the corner coming up, she seems to be on her phone though,” Shaw scoffed. Her eyes continued to quickly scan each screen, making sure she was always two steps ahead of the guards, watching their patterned patrols. She gave command after command until Root stopped.

“I think I need to be in there,” She whispered.

Shaw looked on the monitor that Root occupied and then the tablet. The blueprints displayed a two layered building with numerous rooms. “How do I switch to cameras inside?”

“Space bar.”

“Huh?”

“The space bar? Shaw, the space bar. Do you not remember when I was teaching you about computers?”

“I wasn’t really listening. Space bar, space bar,” She repeated to herself, looking over the keyboard in front of her, attempting to think back to that night. Different memories came from it though and she gulped.

“The long one.”

She spotted it and tapped it, one of the monitors flicking from the outside view to within. “Got it.”

“Next time, listen to me,” Root muttered.

“Next time, don’t make it so boring,” Shaw replied.

“It wasn’t not boring.”

“It was.”

Finch sent a stern look to Shaw, “I would advise you and Ms. Groves leave the bickering till we are off duty.”

Once again, Shaw felt her cheeks flush. She cleared her throat. “There’s one on the other side of the door, he seems to be checking people as they come in and out. I think you’ll need to find a uniform.”

“Way ahead of you,” Root replied as she made her way back to the corner she had passed before. “Is she still on her phone?”

“Looks it.”

She rounded the corner, walking up to the guard without any attempt to hide herself. She tapped her on the shoulder, startling her, before hitting him with the butt of her gun, knocking her unconscious before she could speak. She dragged the body from the path to around the corner. 

“Can you check this building?” Root asked, nodded towards the door she stood by. “Space bar,” She added and Shaw swore she could hear the smirk.

“I know,” Shaw grumbled. The building she stood by was completely empty save for a few boxes. “Clear.”

Root knelt in front of it, using a pick to unlock the door before dragging the motionless body within. Shaw watched as the other woman began to strip. She kept her eyes on the screen, arguing with herself that it was to check the other woman was still out of danger. Finally, Root pulled on the black uniform, equipped now with bullet proof vest, before kneeling back down to the body and, using a knife, extracting the same chip that had allowed her and Shaw access to their other facility many months ago. She inserted it in the same place as last time before pulling the body to a corner, making sure to zip tie and cover the woman’s mouth. 

“Still clear out there?”

“Yep.”

She picked something out of her abandoned jacket pocket, though Shaw could not tell what it was, before leaving the building, quietly shutting the door behind her and following the same path as before. She waited at the same corner as before, eyeing the door.

“Are you sure this will work?”

“Let’s hope so,” Root whispered as she walked down the path in clear view.

Shaw sat at the edge of her seat, swallowing the worry. Root paused at the door before opening it, meeting eyes with the guard. He seemed sceptical but relaxed when she scanned her wrist. Wordlessly, she walked on.

Although there were people walking down the corridor, none seemed concerned with Root. As far as they were aware, she was just another operative. 

Nothing seemed to catch Shaw’s eyes so she allowed Root to continue walking. “There doesn’t seem to be too much, just a training grounds I think. No wait,” Shaw glanced at the monitors and watched as a man sat alone, working at his desk before being interrupted by two guards before being led out of the room by them.

Root watched as the man was pulled past her by the two men. He seemed old and tired. She stopped in front of a door he had come from and, waiting a brief moment, went to open it, attempting to seem casual.

“Hey, what are you doing?”

Both Shaw and Root froze.

“You can’t go in there,” A man in front of her scolded.

“Sorry,” Root replied, withdrawing her hand, “I was looking for the bathroom.”

“They’re that way,” He replied, pointing down the hall. “The new employers are getting worse and worse,” He added as he walked away.

Root continued down the hall, glancing briefly back at the door. “I need to get in there,” She whispered in an empty corner of the hall. 

Shaw eyed the blue prints. “There seems to be a ventilation leading to it from the back.”

“Let’s go then,” She responded.

Shaw guided her until she stood in a room that held various cleaning equipment. Root pulled aside boxes until she found the ventilation, pulling the cover from the wall before crawling in. Although Shaw lost visuals on her, she was still able to hear Root’s breathing which comforted her. Finally, Root reappeared on the screen. Shaw watched carefully as she made her way over to the desk. 

“What is it?”

“I don’t know yet,” She replied, moving aside some papers, scanning them as she did so. “It looks like plans for something. A chip of some sort.” Her eyes narrowed at one piece of paper in particular, raising it to her face. Her eyes widened. “They’re updating their servers,” She whispered, pulling her phone to take several pictures.

Shaw’s eyebrows furrowed, “What does that mean?”

“It means -”

She was unable to finish as the door opened. Shaw realised she had not been checking the monitors. 

“I thought I told you you couldn’t come in here?” The man growled. 

Shaw could only watch as Root threw the papers back down quickly. “Silly me,” She replied, flashing him her best smile, “I just keep getting lost.”

He placed his hand over the gun that rested at his belt as he made his way over. “What unit are you from?” He asked as he stood over her.

The two stared each other down. Root knew she had been compromised. Both drew there weapons but luckily the hacker was quicker, shooting him without hesitancy. He dropped to the floor, marking the first murder Root had committed in a long time. She chose not to think too much into the delight that coursed through her at killing a Samaritan operative, at least not while she was sure many more were on the way due to the sound of gunfire. She quickly removed whatever she had put in the uniform pocket earlier and threw it into a corner.

“I need an escape route. Now, Shaw,” She said a little more forcefully due to the hesitancy in her earpiece.

“Through the ventilation again,” She quickly responded. “Root’s been compromised,” Shaw muttered for the benefit of Harold as Root went off screen. He turned briefly, looking to the screen that was occupied by the lifeless body, blood pooling around it. It took a few moments before she appeared back in the cleaning room. Shaw guided her through a few more doors. 

At least the gunfire had led people away from the area Root was now in, Shaw thought. 

“Any exits?”

Thankfully, there was one. “Take the next left. It’s clear out there.”

Root emerged outside, glancing around the darkened area hastily. It appeared everyone had ran to the scene. “Where’s Reese?”

She repeated the question to Finch who alerted her he was on the far side of the complex, about to make his way over. She relayed this to Root.

“Tell him to get out of here.”

“What?”

“Tell Finch to get him out,” She replied angrily, “And then you can get me out.”

Shaw didn’t like this plan but did as the hacker commanded, telling Finch to do so. He seemed conflicted momentarily before telling Reese. Shaw had no doubt he was attempting to fight back but ultimately he would do what Finch said. 

Shaw’s stomach turned as she attempted to help Root but the sheer amount of operatives was making her nervous.

“Mr. Reese is out,” Finch finally said, turning his chair to face Shaw’s monitors.

“Reese is out,” Shaw repeated to Root. 

“Good, could you ask Harry to possibly tune his headset to mine?” 

She asked, thankful that Harold knew what to do. 

“Hi Harry.”

“Ms. Groves, are you okay?

“Yes, I will be. Could you possibly go to my laptop and press enter. I trust you know what that is,” She said in an attempt of a joke, but the panic in her voice betrayed her. 

He pressed the button and an explosion erupted. It was loud enough to be heard from the empty warehouse they were situated in, despite the distance. 

“What was that?” Shaw asked but no one replied.

“Now could you possibly do some of your old tricks? Do you remember how to hack into a gated system?”

Harold stared at the laptop, paused as he searched his brain before quickly typing away are the laptop. He fumbled, an error returning. He attempted again.

“I’m going to have to ask you to hurry up Harold. Shaw?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you see any vehicles around?”

She searched the monitors before falling upon a motorbike. She guided Root who mounted it without hesitation, pulling the helmet on. She started it up and wasted no time in speeding through the complex. Operatives within the grounds were confused as she sped past until an alarm sounded. Apparently the death had only just reached security, the looped surveillance delaying the news.

“Harold, how are we doing?”

He didn’t reply, concentrating on the codes in front of him. He pressed enter once more, a green “ACCESS GRANTED” flashing. He typed more before sighing with relief. “They’re opening,” He said, glancing at the monitors where the gates were indeed opening.

“Shaw, mind guiding me there?”

She swallowed the lump in her throat. “Right, left, straight down, further, right, left.”

Root could see the gates in view and sped up, by this point however, the people within the fencing were aware of her position. Bullets flew past her, imbedding the buildings she passed. It was easy enough to avoid them, the sheer speed of the motorbike and sharp turns making it possible. 

It appeared she had made it out, speeding towards the edge of it. She had been only feet away when a bullet caught the back wheel of the bike, causing it to shake uncontrollably until Root’s body was flung from it. 

“Root!”

Her body crashed and rolled against the floor, propelling her just out of the boundaries of the confinement. She groaned, clutching at her sides as she heard gunfire go off around her. Unable to move, she was forced to listen to what was bound to be the footsteps of her killer, her eyes unable to adjust, hazy from the pain that erupted through her body. She chose to focus on the voice ringing in her ear instead.

“Root? Root, can you hear me? Please, Root! You need to get up!”

It wasn’t the usual voice that echoed through her ears but it was a far more pleasant one. There was desperation in the voice, but she could not quite work out what was being said aside from Shaw saying her name. It didn’t matter though, because she was content with that alone. 

She didn’t mind when everything turned black all at once, happy that she was at least dying comforted by the sound of Shaw’s voice, despite how pained it sounded. At least she was not dying as alone as she had thought she might.


End file.
